Navigating Love and Travel: A Couple's Q&A Guide to Full-Time Adventure!
We are super fortunate to have always been in sync when it comes to our love of travel. Kevin and I have been together for over 44 years, so we’ve had plenty of time to slide into the same groove. Full-time travel is a big decision, and we had to ease our way into the idea of it. Originally we were focused on moving to someplace in Europe, but then the idea of being digital nomads sounded more appealing to me. It took a beat for Kevin to get on board. And it makes sense since for us it meant we would be selling or donating everything we own, which can be really scary. Moving overseas seemed like a lighter lift. But soon he was all in, and it was all at once exciting, frightening, and thrilling.
If you are interested in full-time travel, but you aren’t sure if it can work because your partner is reluctant, we’ve put together this Q&A list of topics you can work through together. Typically there are a lot of insecurities and unknowns to tackle, so expect it to take several conversations to build confidence and excitement for this new venture.
Q&A
Is your person:
Uncomfortable with being in a country where English isn’t the main language? There are plenty of English-speaking countries or cities that have English as a secondary language spoken. Start out in those places first so that everything isn’t uncomfortable at once. Build up your comfort around travel, especially if one or the other of you is less experienced. In the beginning, stay in cities that are more metropolitan or culturally diverse (e.g., Milan, Paris, Berlin, Athens).
Afraid of how much planning is required for full-time travel? First determine what part of the planning is uncomfortable. Can you split up the duties or have the other person take on that responsibility? What does that look like and can you reassure the other partner? Fortunately for us, I’m the trip planner. Kevin is overwhelmed with deciding where to go and what to do when we get there. I tend to come up with most of the ideas, and Kevin typically goes along (eventually, as in the case of Egypt—and he loved it once we settled in). I pick the dates, location, Airbnb, and set up most of the activities. I’ll give Kevin a few options so he feels like he has some say, but he’s perfectly content to have me do the heavy lifting. And he’s happy to book the flights or trains so that I’m not having to do everything. Your partner may not want a part of any of it, but that’s why you are having these conversations. Also, slow travel allows you to live in a place for a month or more, so you don’t have to do nearly as much planning as if you moved around every week or two. Bonus: slow travel is cheaper.
Set in their ways and likes routine? It’s perfectly reasonable for someone to not want to give up their routine of morning coffee, reading the newspaper, and taking it slow before starting their day. Whatever the routine is at home, there is no reason that most days on the road can’t still have those habits built into them. If this is your new life, it will make things much easier to keep a similar structure even while traveling. There will be travel days or tours that may mean you have to deviate some of the time, but full-time travel does not mean that every single day has to be an adventure. That’s a sure path to burnout.
Afraid of what they don’t know? Do a bunch of online research. Watching YouTube videos is a great way to get acquainted with a city or country before you travel there. The fear of the unknown can be fairly debilitating for some people, so it helps to be equipped before you go. Learn about the money, the customs, the sites you’ll see, the people you’ll encounter.
Someone with a picky palate or on a special diet? For a lot of people, trying new foods is part of the adventure of traveling to new places. But for others, having to find food for multiple meals per day can be daunting. Airbnbs and VRBOs are great because you can go to grocery stores or farmers markets and buy familiar foods to eat for one or more meal per day. Local but familiar ingredients can be a good compromise. Know in advance some of the specialties for where you’ll be visiting and try to pick one or two items that are safe sounding. Look up recipes of those dishes beforehand so you’ll be fairly confident that none of your forbidden foods are included. Your restaurant may not follow the exact recipe, but it will be close. It’s okay to ask for simple foods like white rice or a plain pasta, even if they’re not on the menu that way. They may not be the most nutritional foods on their own, but balance out your diet in another city if necessary. And it’s not the end of the world to eat the same meals every day if there is something you like that works for you. Every meal does not need to be an adventure. Also, order tapas, a few appetizers, and two entrees so that you’re not stuck with your entree if you hate it. If your partner is willing, plan to split both entrees so that you have a greater opportunity to try something you might enjoy without the risk that it’s the only item on your plate.
Struggling with safety concerns? Again, research is your friend. Yes, it’s possible to get scammed, but if you’re familiar with the common ways it can happen, you can think through solutions or consider how you would respond ahead of time so that you aren’t caught off guard. Pickpocketing is something different, and the best way to prevent it from happening is to pay attention to your surroundings and stay alert. Don’t have earbuds in or multitask, which is distracting and makes it easier to miss what’s going on around you. Spread out your money so that everything isn’t in one place. Don’t flash around your expensive gear and minimize your valuables. I love PacSafe’s cross-body purse and their backpacks because they come with straps that can’t be cut, zippers that aren’t easy to open, and allow you to anchor items to an immoveable object so they can’t be grabbed if you have to set them down for any reason. But there is no replacement for diligence and keeping your wits about you.
Attached to their memorabilia? Digitizing your photos and memorabilia is a great way to get to enjoy those things while you are on the road. Our pictures were in a mixture of photo albums and loose in boxes. How often did we go and look through either of those formats? Once every few years maybe and even less for the ones that were loose. Now those memories show up on our iPhones as memories a lot, and we get so much more enjoyment out of seeing those special times when they pop up. Ditto for special cards, awards, trophies, artwork from when your kids were young. Those items we rarely looked at—possibly once a decade or less. Sure they’re just photos now, but we can enjoy them so much more often and they don’t have to take up boxes in storage someplace. You also don’t need to digitize everything. Old playbills, tickets, and trophies probably have lived their full lifecycle.
Unwilling to give up all their clothes, hobbies, etc.? Even if you have a full closet or two of clothes, how much variety do you actually wear? What percentage is in reserve for someday or just in case? Do your hobbies still suit you? Are you actively doing them? Is there a chance that you can travel with one or some of them? We’re looking at a travel, foldable piano keyboard because Kevin is missing playing music. We don’t want to travel with the hassle of a guitar, but it might be worth it to you. I just watched a video of a YouTubing couple bring snorkeling gear, a fly fishing rod, hummingbird feeders, and binoculars for birdwatching along while they slow travel. We are more minimalist, but if your passions are portable, bring them along! Finally, you have the opportunity for new adventures around every corner, and your old hobbies may no longer serve you in this new phase of your life. That’s okay! You’re allowed to evolve, change, and enjoy different things all as a natural part of life.
Needing a home base to come back to? Are you sure? If you are, you can consider renting out your home or paying someone to regularly check on it for you. We view every new place we visit as our home, but we don’t need to deal with houses projects, repairs, or maintenance. We have an entire year of travel planned, so if we had a home base, what cities or countries would we have to give up? We knew travel would change us, and the material things important to us before we left wouldn’t feel the same after exploring the world. What wouldn’t change is our desire to reconnect with family and friends for a few weeks out of the year. We stay either with them or in an Airbnb or hotel and give the people in our lives our full energy and attention. We loved our apartment in San Francisco, and giving it up was hard. We knew the chances of being in the same location with our incredible views and awesome neighbors wouldn’t be something we could replicate after we left. But we didn’t want to play it safe and miss out on the incredible places and experiences that we knew were in front of us. We stay in touch with our cherished friendships through calls, texts, visits, and social media. And it’s really cool that we now see people who weren’t local to us or those who unintentionally took a back burner to our mutually busy lives.
Are there other obstacles to full-time travel that you are wrestling with? Let us know in the comments.
